Yeah so about just getting hair textures… BOY WAS I WRONG…

Instead, my cat stared at the screen, sneezed exactly 17 times, and now refuses to acknowledge any texture that isn’t zebra striped with a hint of Nebraska. My goldfish somehow developed a favorite county (Lancaster) and has been mowing my lawn on a zero turn ever since. I clicked on the pride textures and my monitor started glowing like it had accepted a friend request from Mark Zuckerberg himself. Then I tried the random colors and my neighbor knocked on my door asking why my Wi-Fi suddenly smelled magenta..? Whatever that means. The animal textures are so powerful that a possum outside my window gave me a wee nod and left a tiny figurine of Jay Gatsby as payment. I don’t even live near possums..or a lake. At exactly 3:14 AM every texture in unity lined up alphabetically, saluted me, and one whispered “The giraffe one knows what you did”

Oh yeah not to mention, the county textures somehow made my avatar pay property taxes. And I got fined for being too perpendicular…don’t ask how. I don’t even know myself.

10/10. I came for hair textures. I left with three new identities, an emotional support possum, and a legally binding friendship with a fluorescent cheetah named Kevin. Might have to call Lisa Frank and tell her Kevin got out. Regardless DEFINITELY BUY IT. Plus it’s free.99, what more could ya ask for!?